As we head into February, we are reminded of the many loves in our lives… people, pets, places and even possessions.
This year started out with some big changes for me. One of my dearest friends passed away at the end of 2022. It left a hole in my heart and my social calendar.
As I worked through the feelings of loss, I realized I’ve hung onto more than just people. I’m also attached to some possessions. Like the people in my life, these items have provided comfort and security and contributed to my overall well-being.
It’s not bad to surround oneself with loving people or lovely things. The difficulty is knowing when to let go. Sometimes that decision is out of our control, as when someone’s life ends. But other decisions are often delayed or avoided, simply because we have an attachment that we don’t want to disrupt.
For me, it took looking around my living room at some very worn furniture to realize that – just as I found the capacity to say goodbye to a human friend – I needed to find the inner resources to bid farewell to a much-adored sofa which had, for over 20 years, witnessed all my ups and downs and held me comfortably in its embrace.
Life is a process of change. Nothing stays the same. Saying goodbye to a friend or a beloved possession may leave a hole in our lives, but it also opens the door to welcome someone or something new.
It’s a little easier to find a new couch than a new friend, but the first step is accepting that it’s time to move on, to make a choice, and take an action.
A week or so after I made the decision to let go of my old couch, I happened upon a new sofa that met every criteria I had set for a replacement. It was as if the universe had just been waiting for me to make the decision, so it could get to work on a solution that was better than anything I had imagined.
Love and loneliness are like the furniture of our heart. Similar to choosing a sofa, we need to be willing to give up the familiar but frayed feeling of loneliness so that love can move into the open space.
Few circumstances prevent us from reaching out in search of companionship and interaction. Today, thanks to the internet, we don’t even need to leave our house to engage with someone.
As we contemplate the arrival of Valentine’s Day, perhaps it’s time to consider some new actions… some meaningful ways to put ourselves into contact with interesting, like-minded people.
How about attending a reading at a local bookstore or joining a hiking group? A Toastmasters event? An investment seminar? An art class? Perhaps there’s a yoga or tai chi group that meets regularly? How about trying line dancing or Zumba? Interested in nature — why not learn about beekeeping or how to landscape with drought tolerant plants? Take a woodworking class. Learn a new language just for the fun of it. Volunteer at the SPCA.
Most people, when asked how they met their best friend will say, “Oh I was just doing this or that, and they showed up… and the rest is history.”
How many priceless relationships are you willing to pass up by not making yourself available for that chance encounter?
Nothing signals the body that all is well as when you take a step in a new direction. Changing it up brings a fresh perspective, renewed energy, and opens the door to new possibilities.
Be your own Valentine this year. Do something for you. Your life will thank you in countless ways.
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