Last month, several INSPIRED readers reached out with a response to this column, offering their reflections and thoughts.
It felt good to have this interaction. Although I had never met these people, each message felt like a gift. Thank you.
So much of our day-to-day life is one of sameness. Whether it is our daily routine, our circle of friends, or our thoughts and beliefs, often we simply retrace the same pattern. We get in a rut and stay there, feeling it is the safer alternative. But is it?
Someone has said the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Don’t misunderstand me. Habits, routines, beliefs and steady friends can be tremendously helpful. They give us stability and grounding. They give us comfort. But sometimes they can cause stagnation and even paralysis.
Life is about moving forward. I doubt there are many of us who couldn’t benefit from improvement in some aspect of our life.
As humans, we often have a resistance to change. We prefer things to stay the same, even as we yearn for better circumstances. Improvement, unfortunately, only comes through a shift in some aspect of our life.
Opening up to new ideas, meeting new people, or trying out a new activity – all require the acceptance of change.
COVID-19 turned many of our routines, plans and habits upside down. Suddenly, our weekly activities were curtailed. We couldn’t wander through the shopping malls, attend concerts, join friends at our favourite restaurants, or continue our exercise classes. Without our usual pattern of activity, we struggled to orient ourselves.
As previous options become unavailable or limited, one of the ways I learned to cope was by asking myself the question: “What is the next best thing I can do? If I can’t do this, is there something else I can do that will give me a result that is similar, or maybe even better?”
When you start asking yourself this question, it is remarkable how creative you can be. Not every idea is actionable – but just opening yourself to the possibility of something new provides a crack through which inspiration can emerge.
If I can’t go to the gym, is there something else I can do? Can I go for a long, energetic walk every day? Can I get the same workout by learning the moves of some popular dance routine from a YouTube video? Maybe I can get a paper route and earn money while I get exercise delivering newspapers and flyers to all my neighbours?
This month, I am starting two new activities. I’m excited about both prospects. While these are not physical activities, they are opportunities to expand my intellectual understanding and engage safely with interesting people.
One is a monthly book club with the neighbours in my cul-de-sac. If the weather is too chilly to meet safely in our backyards, we will come together using technology. We’ve also agreed to erect a tiny book exchange. Both are the result of realizing through our neighbourly interactions during COVID-19 that many of us are avid readers.
The second is a weekly one-hour book discussion at my home with three friends in my social bubble. We have chosen The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello; a book about overcoming emotional suffering by releasing attachments in order to experience greater personal freedom and become open to more possibilities.
By now, some of you may have explored alternatives of your own. You may have pivoted to other activities, engaged in learning a new skill, explored online groups, adopted new habits for staying in touch with friends via phone, social media or Zoom.
Being able to change and reinvent ourselves is part of the thriving process. Examining our beliefs and habits leads to new awareness. Getting out of our ruts allows us to grow and expand.
What is the “next best thing” you have done recently? I’d love to hear about your experiences.
I’d also be interested to hear from anyone who has read The Way to Love – what are your thoughts on this book?
Are there any other books that have changed your perspective of life in a significant way? Let me know. Comment below or email me at publisher@seniorlivingmag.com
Stay safe and keep thriving.
I was so delighted to get this response from one of our readers that I asked to share it. Like many of us, Linda Toffolo had to come up with other options when COVID shut down some of her usual activities. Here’s what she has to say about finding her “next best things” during this pandemic.
“I read the Nov. issue from cover to cover and thought I would step out of my comfort zone to write about my “next best things” during this pandemic. All my life I have embraced change as an “adventure” so I haven’t found it difficult to cope during these unusual times. For example, like so many others, when I could no longer easily attend classes at my local rec. centre, I just opted for the many fitness classes on YouTube. When my favourite activity, singing in my church choir ended, I began singing with gusto along with songs on Google. Also Zoom chats with other choir members helped keep us connected. As well as my usual baking, walking Mt. Doug trails & reading constantly, I took up knitting again!! It’s so peaceful & tactile. My volunteer work with the CNIB sadly proved more difficult. As a vision mate, how do you safely distance yourself from your partner? So we chat weekly by phone for now. The most difficult challenge I face is trying to be part of my new grandson’s life. He is almost a year old & I have never held him yet, as he lives in Ottawa. Thankfully, I can “visit” him on facetime and even read him stories.
I realize how much more I appreciate & depend on relationships…. and my Ipad…. also one of my “next best things”.”
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