Much of the criticism about positive thinking is the accusation that “looking through rose-coloured glasses” is an unhealthy form of denial. But thinking positively does not mean pretending bad things aren’t happening in your life.
Looking at the positive side of a situation is about perspective. It’s simply putting a different focus on the issue. For example, instead of being angry or frustrated that your car is a rusted, backfiring relic, think about how grateful you are that you even have a car! While you are smiling about that thought, calmly make plans to gradually fix the defects of your vehicle.
Yes, it is true that it’s not healthy to completely ignore the negative. It’s okay to get angry and let the emotion take place, instead of bottling it up inside you. Cry if you have to, then get over it, and get on with it. Quit focusing on or worrying about the negative aspects and find something positive about the challenge facing you (by the way, seeing it as a challenge rather than a problem is thinking positively).
Real positive thinking involves facing and dealing with the issue constructively – not destructively, such as worrying about all the things that can go wrong. Deal with the issue to the best of your ability and, at the same time, focus on all the things that could go right!
Once you’ve dealt with the issue or challenge (remember, think “challenge” not “problem”) then put it out of your mind. Constantly worrying about it won’t fix it. You’ve done the best you can, now it’s out of your hands.
Psychologist Daniel G. Amen says positive thinking calms the emotional brain, allowing you to think more clearly and rationally. If you are constantly worrying about every challenge, your highly emotional state won’t allow you to think clearly enough to effectively deal with the issue.
So, the next time someone says your positive thinking is an unhealthy denial of the negative, tell them their negative thinking is an unhealthy denial of the positive!
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Eve Lees has been active in the health & fitness industry since 1979. Currently, she is a Freelance Health Writer for several publication and speaks to business and private groups on various health topics.