Our Not-So-Smart Home

Our Not-So-Smart Home

In 2019, smart homes have become increasingly popular with people of all ages. Unfortunately, my wife, Naomi, and I are stuck in the dark ages. We’re online, of course, and have iPads, iPhones and a voice-controlled television, which I have no idea how to use. As far as high-tech goes, we are practically still living like cavemen. Our home doesn’t have a security camera. Heck, some days I forget to lock the door.

There’s no nanny cam hidden away in the third teddy bear to the right in our children’s rooms. We have no tracking mechanism to see what our kids may be discussing on Facebook, Snapchat, Fortnight or any other online social media group or game. We have no devices that feed our pets. When we clap, the lights don’t turn on or off, and our house’s temperature gauge can’t read our biometrics. I’m okay with being old-school; my mom, on the other hand, is 100 per cent wired. It’s like she’s living in the Matrix. Last July, our family flew to Vancouver for a visit.

Mom lives in a swank house in North Vancouver with an apartment attached to it. This is where she sleeps when our crew comes to town. Who can blame her? We’re a noisy bunch and, I admit, my snoring could wake the dead.

Mom’s high-tech, decked-out house could be the set for a sci-fi film. When we arrive, she insists on providing us a tour to ensure we know how to work everything (read: not break anything). In truth, the house keeps her super organized and incredibly safe. I thought a dog would do the trick, but she insisted on a wi-fi home security system with cameras everywhere. Even the most seasoned crooks couldn’t crack the code at Mom’s house. The place is a modern-day Alcatraz, and that makes me feel safer knowing she’s okay.

Our tour begins with the mirror in her master bedroom she’s nicknamed Ayi (AI-Powered Smart Mirror). She provided us a quick tutorial. I’d always thought mirrors were used to style hair, brush teeth and apply make-up. Yikes was I wrong. Using your voice, you can access your entire smart home with Ayi. It can also handle complex voice commands such as setting the temperature and turning on your music with one sentence. I attempted to use these cool features but wound up just combing my hair. Naomi was fascinated by the mirror and programmed events for our entire stay.

Next, we headed downstairs to check out Squishy the cat’s litter box. A fascinating stop among vacationers the world over. But Squishy has no ordinary litter box. Mom has gone all out on this one; she never has to pick up litter again. The iKuddle Auto-Packing Litter Box is ground-breaking: it identifies when Squishy has used the litter box and will automatically scoop the clumped litter. The app can even help you keep track of your cat’s health, providing a summary of its litter box usage. Naomi reveled in the potential of never scooping litter again.

On our first morning there, Mom insisted on preparing us her famous pancakes. Naomi and I sat on stools while sipping coffee and I couldn’t help but comment on the spectacular view from her kitchen. Mom laughs, “That’s not a window.” I was staring at the Atmoph Window 2, which changes the view whenever you desire. This stunning 27-inch display offers an impeccable 4K view of the world. With over 1,000 scenes to choose from, you can update your view as often as you want. You can even live-stream locations from around the world. Incredibly, you can also book a dream vacation to these destinations – all from this device. Finally, the built-in camera module functions as a home security camera. Somehow, I had to pack the window into my luggage without Mom seeing it.

Next, Mom shows us the nanny camera. For visiting grandchildren and great nieces and nephews, the Amcrest IP2M-841 ProHD 1080p Wireless WiFi IP Camera doesn’t disappoint. The video quality on this camera is remarkable (1080P at 30 fps). It has a broad 90-degree viewing angle and night vision for up to 32 feet. The camera has pan, tilt and zoom for broader coverage. Its most vital asset, however, is its ability to stream video on tablets or phones using the accompanying Amcrest View app. If Mom is down the street running errands, she can watch the nanny cam live on her iPhone. Naomi thinks the nanny cam could be a game changer. She plotted for half the vacation about potential hiding spots for it.

Perhaps Mom’s most prized device, which she insisted we purchase, was the iKydz Home. This smart gadget enables parents and grandparents to determine when kids can go online and what content they’re able to view. iKydz allow parents and grandparents to manage their phones, PCs, smart TVs, tablets, gaming consoles and other internet-connected devices in the home. iKydz Home also blocks apps, websites and pop-ups. The gadget even lets you know the location of your child’s mobile devices. My wife insisted on this device since she believes television, video games and the internet are shaping our children’s attitudes and personalities – and must be continually monitored.

Two weeks later, we bid Mom farewell and returned to our luddite home. When I woke up the next day, there was a techie at the door, a large van in the driveway, and Naomi directing everyone on where to install our new smart home.

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