“Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.” –Rod McKuen
“I moved into a retirement home because I don’t like to be alone,” says Jo-Ann De Jong, 89, who made the transition to a retirement community just six months ago.
She’d been living in her 1,200 square foot condo on the Gorge in Victoria, when she realized it was time to make a move, make new friends, and have new experiences.
“I didn’t want to be dependent on the kids,” says Jo-Ann, “so I shopped around Victoria with a friend, and we looked at all kinds of possibilities.”
She finally settled on and downsized into a one-bedroom, 700-square-foot apartment with her own kitchen and balcony at The Wellesley.
“It’s a joyful place, and I’ve made lots of new friends, with both residents and staff.”
The lively octogenarian who still travels to California annually, now gets her nails done at her residence every six weeks. She enjoys her bridge companions and likes participating in chair exercises at her new home base, where she’s built a community of friends around her.
Jo-Ann even talked the residence into purchasing a ping pong table, and then she inspired a small group of residents to regularly play with her.
“It’s better when residents make the decision to move before a decision has to be made for them,” says Jeff Nahnybida, Community Relations Manager of the Retirement Concepts group.
“We offer independent living and assisted living facilities, and we have a sister long-term care property for further needs and support.”
Nahnybida explains that the average age of residents now moving in is 85.
“Of course, we also have residents from their late 50s up to 105,” he says, “but usually newcomers in Victoria are in their 80s.”
People choose this lifestyle for several reasons. Loneliness and the desire for more socialization are very common factors, adds Nahnybida.
But, he says, so are those no longer wanting to do meal preparation and housekeeping.
“It’s about making that day-to-day lifestyle easier.”
Mike Garisto, President of Columbus Charities Association, a non-profit organization that provides affordable housing to seniors across BC in eight properties from the Lower Mainland to Prince Rupert, agrees.
“People who have lost long-term partners (widows/widowers) come to us because they are lonely. They are looking for companionship.”
“Others, who no longer want to cook and care for themselves, also come to live in our residences,” he adds.
For many, it’s also peace of mind and personal security that drive their decision.
Mike says the age range of Columbus residents is 75-95, and on average residents move in at age 83.
Eighty-four-year-old Billie (Wilhelmina) Holloway, who moved into Columbus’ Maple Ridge property one year ago, says she came for more of a social life.
“I’m widowed and divorced and just moved back to Canada from the US,” she says. “I initially lived with one of my daughters and her family, but I felt I was interrupting their lives too much, so I decided it was time to move to a retirement community. And I was lonely.”
She chose a residence that came with a kitchenette and three sit-down meals a day in the dining room.
Billie agrees it takes time to get to know a whole new community. “But I just met a new resident this week who likes to play crib as much as I do,” she says, “so I’m happy about that.”
She adds that there are plenty of opportunities to meet other residents during regular bus outings, at bingo and at in-house movies. She was looking forward to taking part in Karaoke nights.
As one of the younger ones in her residence, Billie says she gets out and walks to the local Senior Community Centre, and occasionally goes shopping in her neighbourhood. One of her daughters lives close by and takes her to appointments.
“You can make friends and enjoy all the activities if you want to,” she adds. “The staff are absolutely wonderful and are always willing to add new ideas for social activities.”
Dianne Schroeder, also in her early 80s, decided to move back to Victoria from Comox, where she’d been renovating homes and was an active gardener for the past decade.
“I didn’t want to move into a condo, and I didn’t want to buy another house at Victoria’s current prices, so I looked into a retirement home situation instead.”
She had known several people who had lived at The Wellesley over the past 25 years, so she had always been drawn to that property.
“I’m glad I did it,” says Dianne, of moving into her one-bedroom suite. “My chihuahua crossbred dog, Max, came with me. That was important.” Getting out to walk Max daily is a vital part of Dianne’s daily routine.
Jeff says dogs and cats are allowed in the Victoria property if residents can look after them. Those living in assisted living can have pets visit but not stay with them, he explains.
Dianne, an avid reader, says that while she is very happy spending time in her suite, she made new friends when she joined a weekly Current Events discussion group with 12 other residents. They enjoy lively and informed discussions about global affairs and national and local news events.
She also looks forward to meeting up with fellow residents at the bi-weekly Happy Hour that includes music and entertainment.
“You can always chat up others there.”
The CBC’s Sabrina Jones, in October of this year, reported on the experimental introduction of a young female robotic companion that had been brought into a (long-term care) home in Québec as a pilot project. The humanoid robot, named Grace, was brought in to offer companionship in 30-minute visits, with the goal of keeping residents company and helping to break social isolation.
The women agree that this is not the type of companionship that they are interested in. Instead, they initiate conversation with others, they join activities that interest them, and they take the time to meet neighbours and to be engaged in their community in their own unique ways.
“It was the Open House that brought me in,” concludes Jo-Ann. “There are so many opportunities to meet other residents in the large variety of activities that are offered. If you want to make friends, you can.”
“And there’s an Ambassador Programme on arrival,” adds Dianne. Residents are introduced to their new home, neighbours and community.
“It’s easy to meet people if you want to,” they all say.
“New friends are like new adventures. You never know what lessons they will teach you.” –Unknown
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