People are generally living longer, but are they thriving in their later years? Clinical psychologist, Ami Rokach studies loneliness and says lonely seniors are a serious public health issue, and the related health effects are at epidemic levels. According to Statistics Canada 2016, as many as 1.4 million elderly Canadians report feeling lonely. So, how can we help seniors with loneliness?
One possible solution in our care of seniors is “Loving Touch,” which is appropriate, consensual platonic caring touch, like hugs, pats and gentle massages.
In the ’60s, warm loving touch was a way of life; it was one big “love in.” Love was more prevalent than negative energies.
Now, the pendulum has swung. The world is growing more cautious, especially in terms of touching. Unfortunately, there seems to be a continuous stream of stories in the media of inappropriate touching behaviour. But are we going too far in restricting touch? Obviously, we need to monitor it, but going to the opposite extreme is not the answer. Nowadays, educators are told not to touch children (even young children) for fear of being sued or charged. Teachers form a big part of their lives and are prevented from developing warm connections through touch.
We know that babies, if not touched, will die from “failure to thrive” syndrome. Maia Szalavitz who wrote Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential—and Endangered states, “babies who are not held and nuzzled and hugged enough will literally stop growing and – if the situation lasts long enough, even if they are receiving proper nutrition – die.” Likewise, in her article, “The Effect of Human Contact on Newborn Babies,” Bridget Coila says, “Lack of physical contact can prevent normal development and can even lead to higher rates of illness or death in infants.”
It is apparent that touch for babies is essential for life!
As we grow, all humans need loving touch as a part of feeling connected. Research shows that touch instantly boosts oxytocin levels needed for happiness, and helps patients recover from illnesses more quickly. Rick Chillot in Psychology Today stated, “when you stimulate the pressure receptors in the skin, you lower stress hormones.” However, a lack of touch can make us feel lonely, depressed and anxious. Studies performed by the University of Miami’s Touch Research Institute indicate that touch can:
* Lessen pain
* Lower blood glucose
* Slow the heart rate
* Lower blood pressure
* Improve pulmonary function
* Improve immune function
* Enhance alertness and performance
Virginia Satir, a well-known psychologist in the ’60s, said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” So, touch is highly beneficial for adults, too.
How many seniors are getting their quota of loving touch, whether in the form of hugs or even a caring pat on the hand? In many countries, families live in multi–generational homes. As a result, seniors generally receive a great deal of touching from other family members. Western culture is different.
A 2009 report by Statistic Canada states that men aged 85 to 89 have the highest rate of suicide among any age group in Canada. Could having more loving touch lower this statistic?
With increased awareness of this issue, some senior homes are trying to help residents be more at peace and to increase their feelings of usefulness by offering special programs. One way is by introducing children visitation days or having child daycare centres in the same building. A senior residence in Massachusetts has a program where seniors care for chickens, so they have the opportunity to care for something. There is also a growing prevalence of bringing therapy dogs into senior homes.
So, would a focus on “Loving Touch” for seniors increase health and emotional wellbeing? I believe the answer is yes.
Senior living situations should provide more than just “adequate” care. Wouldn’t it make sense that seniors are less likely to get ill when they have a loving atmosphere (which includes loving touch)?
Perhaps a new program could be developed where caring volunteers simply hold the hand of a senior for a while, or gently massage that person. In addition, wouldn’t it be wonderful if workers in the field had “touching” (caring pats or hugs) as part of their training and job description?
If we want to keep seniors healthier, so as not to drain the medical system, their children need to speak up and get some “Loving Touch” for their parents. Ask for programs that include platonic touch. I would also encourage single seniors to request body work (like Trager, massage or Feldenkrais) and make it part of their lives, in addition to regular exercise.
Everyone should be aware of the need for touch as part of self-care. It’s important for your health!
Joan Birch, MA is a life coach. She offers online help with life issues by using mindfulness and solution-focused tools.