Alena and Abe
When Abe and Alena met, they were both in their mid-50s. By that time in their lives, each of them was convinced that they would never meet a partner that suited them, so they were both surprised when they did!
She, a teacher and, he, a research scientist and professor, were set up by Alena’s colleague and Abe’s friend, Jane. After an initial meeting at a Sunday dinner with Jane’s family, she invited them to join her for an upcoming opera performance, knowing they both loved music. On the day of the show when they picked up their tickets, however, they quickly realized there were only two tickets, not three, and they had been set up on a “date” orchestrated by Jane.
“It moved forward from there, albeit slowly,” says Alena. “Abe was travelling a lot with his research projects, and I was working full time.” The divorced mother of one liked the slow pace. “I had only just started to enjoy living on my own for the first time in my life,” she says, “so I wasn’t ready to rush into anything. But I was intrigued. We had the same cultural background, and he was interesting and curious.”
Abe, through his lifelong scientific training was also taking his time. “I expect uncertainty,” he says, “and then I collect data. That takes time.”
The two soon found a workable solution – each in their own homes during the week, and together on the weekends. “I always trusted him,” Alena adds, “so that arrangement worked really well.” When she then retired, seven years ago, they decided to live together under one roof. Two cats and a dog completed the household. So did occasional visits from grandsons on the other side of the country, and other family and friends.
Almost 20 years after their original meeting, the two are still enjoying a dynamic life together and are happy that they took the time and the risk to get to know each other.
“It works because we are both independent and respect each other’s interests and passions.”
“And we have enough in common that we have fun together,” they echo as they busily process everything they have harvested and grown in their yard this year.
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