DEBBIE AND RANDAL
“I had to believe that love still existed,” reflects Debbie, widowed nine years ago from her high school sweetheart, whom she met at age seven, dated at 17, and eventually married.
“We had been married for 32 years when I lost him to cancer at 50.”
The writer and retired lawyer said she eventually started dating because she felt there would be someone else out there that would be right for her. But she had only ever been with her late husband, so she had a thing or two to learn.
Debbie tried out different dating sites, started blogging about her various experiences, and eventually wrote a memoir-style book about it all.
“I liked being married and I really wanted another forever,” she says, “so I persevered.”
In her fifth year of online dating, after she had learned how to short-cut prospective dates that didn’t align with her “forever” goal, she was messaged one day by Randal. He had not only taken the time to read much of her blog about dating, but also noticed and liked her VAN shoes, and then invited her to tea for a first date.
“He was chivalrous and respectful,” says Debbie, “and he gave us time to get to know each other. First, we decided to try being friends, and we had a lot of fun together. When we later started going on weekend trips, he always booked two rooms.”
Randal also accepted her late husband into their growing relationship. “He likes George, too,” she says, and made room for his memory in their life together.
“And when my AC broke down,” she adds, “he cared about helping me deal with it. He was interested in me and my life and not just in our romance.”
The couple kept separate residences, 35 minutes apart in different towns, for a long time. They would see each other on weekends and during the week, while he was still working, and she was completing an MFA in creative writing.
“We missed each other a lot,” they echo.
Three years into their relationship, they decided it was time to live together.
“We were tired of driving back and forth.”
They each sold their houses and found one, seaside, they both loved.
“I had been in my home for 27 years and moving on from it was really a good thing to do,” says Debbie.
Now, four years after their initial date, and both retired, they are happy to have found each other.
“I liked her because she was always herself,” adds Randal.
Available As Is: A Midlife Widow’s Search for Love, by Debbie Weiss,
is now available on Amazon.
3,309 views