Born in Vancouver, Cathie Borrie’s extensive and diverse working life has included careers in health, law and business. For seven years, she cared for her mother, who had Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases, which led her to write a rich memoir of that experience in The Long Hello, The Other Side of Alzheimer’s. Cathie elected not only to explore the spiritual insight made possible by the Alzheimer’s journey, but also to reveal the mysteries of the mind in what has been described as a narrative poem.
SL: Your memoir reveals honesty and vulnerability. What motivated you to take on the telling of this story?
CB: One day, I was sitting in a restaurant having lunch with my mother. She had been diagnosed with dementia, and I was having “man” troubles. I wanted to ask her opinion and though I wondered if this was a good idea, considering how her mind had been changing, I went ahead and asked her what to do when you love someone but he doesn’t love you. Without skipping a beat, she replied, “Go find someone else!” I was startled by the good sense of this advice and went on to ask, “What is love, Mum?” to which she responded, “It is the sublime, felt between two people in the same working order.”
SL: And these surprising responses are what prompted you to write your books?
CB: Yes, I was hooked and began to record our conversations. I found her emerging Alzheimer’s voice one of humour, insight and an astonishing poetic sensibility. Against the backdrop of the negative and hopeless stereotypes like “the long goodbye” and “the endless forgetting,” I was not expecting what would turn out to be a meaningful, rich and transformative experience. Along with an honest account of the difficult days and the sadness, I felt this “other side” of Alzheimer’s should be available to others going through the experience. Writing it was a source of deep pleasure.
SL: What learning have you taken from your immersion in the world of Alzheimer’s?
CB: The most important thing I learned was that we should pay attention to people who are experiencing a world we do not understand and do not have access to, and not to retreat from them or write them off as “not there” simply because they are somewhere else. The human spirit prevails to the end, and it is our privilege to remain faithful and attentive to whoever it is that person is becoming. There are great gifts in this experience.
SL: In addition to The Long Hello: The Other Side of Alzheimer’s, you have a companion book, looking into your voice. What inspired you to choose this unusual format?
CB: I felt that my mother’s voice deserved its own place in the world, so I put together a work comprised of our conversations, working with local poet Dianna Hurford to render the words poetically. The lyrical form of my mother’s words dictated the poetic structure. Readers are often shocked that someone with Alzheimer’s said such fascinating and beautiful things. One reviewer said, ‘Out of memory loss, comes the unforgettable.’
SL: Your mother was the inspiration for your own poetry in this book. Can you talk about that?
CB: As my mother went back in time, mulling over memories and reminiscing, I found myself following her lead and began sifting through my own life. I began to see everything in scenes, like film clips. In the same way her responses were often poetic and minimalist, so too were mine. I am not sure why this happened. Perhaps the musicality in her words released the lyricism in mine.
SL: You spent a long seven years caring for your mother. What are the greatest challenges you experienced as a caregiver for a parent with Alzheimer’s?
CB: Three challenges sought to undo me: isolation, loneliness and, most of all, the heartbreak of observing her suffering. Against these, what I began to hear from my mother, to learn about her new world – when I actually listened, when I followed her lead – served to ease the hard parts of the experience.
SL: Your experience has been an inspiring one, but not without frustrations. What changes would you like to see in the kind of care that is given to people suffering from Alzheimer’s?
CB: I am pleased to see all that is being done to stop “warehousing” people with dementia, and the emerging progressive programs that focus on respecting and understanding the needs of individuals going through this experience.
SL: You’ve spoken to many groups about your own experience in caring for your mother. What do you hear from your audiences?
CB: My audiences and readers tell me that the works both validate the experience of those who have gone through it, and serve as a navigational chart for those going through it. People have responded with comments like, “For a long time I have been terrified about Alzheimer’s. After reading your book, I am no longer afraid,” and, “I’m going over to see my father right now. I am going to really listen to him, be with him. Stop trying to make everything as it was.”
SL: With the far-ranging publicity your work has received, you’ve now established a kind of iconic relationship with the Alzheimer’s issue. Has this become a life focus for you?
CB: Yes, it has. I am working on performance pieces with text, voice, film and music. I want my presentations to be as lyrical and artistic as my mother’s voice. My mother taught me that there is much beauty, grace and meaning in the midst of difficult times, and I want to share that story in the most creative way I can.
1,448 views