“My happy place is in the kayak. It takes me into the unknown and it’s helped me to live more fearlessly. I feel I’m more open about how things are falling in my life. I’ve learned about the laws of the universe, how to surrender, how to detach, how to be accepting, how to be non-judgmental. It’s made me into a softer, kinder person.”
Adventurer and islomaniac Wendy Killoran reflects on her life. She’s seen a lot of islands, paddling around Haida Gwaii, the Bahamas, Vancouver Island and the islands of Sicily and Sardinia. In 2006, she became the first woman to solo circumnavigate Newfoundland. And there are more adventures on the horizon, too.
Wendy says kayaking has freed her from past constraints.
“I had a very rigid upbringing,” she says about growing up in London, Ontario. “You had to follow the rules. My father was a teacher and he wanted me to be a doctor or a vet.” So, she followed a conventional path, became an elementary school teacher, married at 24, and gave birth to her daughter, Sara, five years later. But there was a disconnect. Even as a child, Wendy was drawn to the natural world.
“I felt most alive when I was outdoors in nature being creative and being active. I really wanted to be an adventurer and a photographer.” It was a dream she thought was unobtainable until serendipity set things in motion.
“I was sitting in the Florida Everglades and I was watching the sunset when, all of a sudden, a kayak slid into the scene,” she says. “It was like an epiphany. I realized that’s what I wanted to do, but I had to wait because I was five months pregnant. Two years later, at 31, I got into a kayak for the first time and realized, oh yeah, this is going to be a part of my life. I had to be true to my soul.”
She started modestly, paddling with groups of people on the weekends. Gradually, as her confidence increased, she tackled more difficult conditions – bigger waves and scooting around parts of Lake Huron on her own. Transitioning from a hobby to a lifestyle was a no-brainer.
“Mid-life crisis,” says Wendy unapologetically. “I didn’t want my life slipping away. I had read books of other people having these extraordinary adventures and I thought why am I reading about other people’s adventures? I know in my heart and soul this is what I want to do.”
A trip to Iceland in the early 2000s convinced her she was ready to tackle ocean kayaking by herself.
“I had conquered three-metre waves. I had learned how to roll the kayak without falling out. After that, I realized I can do this with or without people. I am ready to go solo adventuring. I knew what it felt like to be on big water. I felt more confident.”
In 2004, Wendy paddled around Manitoulin Island by herself. The following year, she circumnavigated Prince Edward Island, a distance of 650 kilometres in 12 days. That’s a little over 50 kilometres a day.
She was spending all her vacation time on the water and yes, her obsession with paddling created tension within the family.
“I knew the marriage was over in 2006 when I said to my former husband I’m going to go kayaking around Newfoundland and he said that’s a big one, right? And I said, yeah that’s pretty big… and he said well when you come back you can come home to a divorce. He didn’t like the idea that I was going to do such an ambitious feat at the expense of being a dutiful wife.”
Paddling around Newfoundland was emotionally and physically depleting.
“There’s always this interplay between water and land,” she says. “It’s always at the back of your mind. Will I find a safe place to land? Will I like where I land? Will it be a challenge to land? I had a rogue wave in Newfoundland,” she continues. “All of a sudden, I see this huge wall of water coming towards me. I turned the kayak into it and paddled over this peak of water four metres high.”
Scary? Yes, but her skill set, experience and sheer willpower kept her going.
“I’ve only had brief, brief glimmers of fear and then I talk myself out of it. Paddling with fear creates a different flow. If I want to be successful, I have to push away self doubt and believe in myself.”
Returning to Ontario after the rush of conquering Newfoundland only confirmed her affinity with the sea.
“When I’m out there on the water, I feel a huge sense of connection; and when I’m in urban areas, I actually feel a greater disconnect. When I’m on the water, I can be very present in the moment. I’m not worrying about the future. I’m not fretting about the past. It’s soul nurturing. It’s healing. Nature is the great healer and that’s where I developed a sense of spirituality. I’m just in awe and wonder of that moment because it’s absolutely divine.”
“Sometimes you can get lonely,” she admits. “Sometimes it’s nice to have companionship, but when I go alone, I’m responsible for myself and I can choose a reality that is exhilarating or serene.” Besides, there’s another benefit to travelling alone. “It’s a great way to meet people. So often I’ve been invited into people’s homes for a meal and then a place to sleep.”
Wendy has no regrets living an ascetic life. “I have complete freedom. I’m on my own and I have nothing tying me down. My daughter is a free spirit,” she says of Sara, whom she frequently visits in Vancouver. Otherwise, she’s responsible to nobody but herself.
She’s already left her Vancouver Island cottage to prepare for her next expedition, paddling around all five Great Lakes. (Wendy left Ontario for BC in 2012, so she could paddle year round). She reckons she can circumnavigate the Lakes in two or three years in six month stretches. As a frequent Instagrammer, she’ll keep everyone up to date on how she’s doing.
“I made quantum changes. I left my marriage, I had left my teaching career, I left my home town. I’m still trying to find out what I’m going to do in the second half of my life and, for now, being able to blog is a moment in the day where I’m able to connect with like-minded people to inspire and educate.”
Her message? “Be honest with yourself. Think about what brought you joy as a child and don’t let that song die within you. Don’t die with regrets. Listen to your calling and make it happen.”
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