Many caregivers come face to face with the challenges of distance caregiving as they try to support their loved one’s care and navigate the health care system. It can be quite a ride: feeling uncertain about what to do; guilt for not doing enough or for not physically being there; sadness about our loved one’s changes; anxiety and stress of the inability to travel or the frequency and unpredictability of travel (especially now!); and fear of the unknown.
Here are some tips for long distance caregivers:
Stay Connected: It doesn’t matter what methods you use; dedicate a specific time each week or every day to reach out. This is even more important with COVID-19 where social isolation and limited ability to mobilize in the community are concerns for many.
Talk First, Act Later: Before jumping in and getting too involved with researching what help is available, start with an evaluation of the person you are caring for (or concerned about) and their situation. Find out what is being done by in-town family, neighbours, friends, and community health professional.
Broach (carefully!) the topic of future care needs, legal and financial decision-making, advanced care planning and housing options.
Learn everything you can about the person you are caring for and their disease or disability. This becomes the backbone of your information and a care plan. It also helps you as a caregiver better understand what the care recipient is going through.
Build a Team that Works: Find out who is in regular contact with the person being cared for and ask them to be part of the care team. This may need to be modified or adjusted in current times. Your team will include other family caregivers, close friends, or community care providers, to name a few. If you are taking the main role of coordinating the support, be clear in advance on what type of care and help is needed and be respectful of people’s limits, skills, availability, and willingness.
Find a Quarterback: Designate one person as a primary contact person – preferably a local family member who can take on this role. Coordinating who is doing what and when is critical as it can be overwhelming and confusing for the care recipient to juggle many visits and calls. Store information in one spot (virtually or in a hard copy format).
Get to Know the Locals: Make time to research programs and supports available in the community. Ask your local care team members to make inquiries and collect information. Often the key is having one or two people consistently reachable at critical times. Patience and persistence are a must to navigate a healthcare system from afar!
Build a safety net: By creating a plan of what would take place in worst-case scenarios, a “caregiver safety net” can be formed and risks can be managed. Pandemic or not, have a back-up plan in case you become ill or the local family caregiver cannot provide care.
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Wendy Johnstone is a Gerontologist and a consultant with Family Caregivers of British Columbia in Victoria, BC.