You have a past-due deadline at work and your mother keeps calling because she is confused about what day it is and where you are. You are notified by your dad’s long-term care home that he’s fallen again and needs an x-ray as soon as possible. You are late for work after taking your spouse, who was recently diagnosed with cancer, to a medical appointment that ran late, and your supervisor calls you into their office.
Sound familiar?
Over one third of Canadians adults combine paid work and caregiving. The majority of caregivers experience the wonderful benefits of giving back to the person they are caring for and enjoy strengthened family relations. The strains of caregiving, however, can take their toll: A quarter of caregivers report a change in employment, including refusing training opportunities, promotions, taking a loss of income or simply having to quit their jobs altogether. Almost 15 per cent report health and sleep problems, and over a third report emotional difficulties due to caregiving. As the COVID-19 pandemic continues, caregivers are now faced with a host of unique challenges, on top of an already full plate.
Plans for balancing caregiving and work vary tremendously, and no single blueprint works for everyone. Here are a few strategies to lighten your load and reduce stress.
Check in with yourself regularly by asking:
- How is my current self-care?
- How resilient do I feel?
- What do I need for support?
- Where can I find extra support?
Be honest and proactive. Describe the situation to your employer before it becomes a problem and let them know you are committed to your job. Be honest with yourself. Don’t sugar-coat the situation; it won’t help you in the long run and can cause additional stress.
Learn what support is available. Can you work flexible hours? Do you have someone who can cover for you if you need to leave the office? Does your employer know about your eldercare situation? Are you comfortable talking to your direct superior or colleagues about your eldercare situation? What policies does your company have in place to support working caregivers?
Document, Document, Document. Create a file to keep track of information about your current caregiving situation. Good documentation serves as a valuable reference when dealing with your employer, colleagues, doctors, and others involved with the person you are caring for.
Put on your own oxygen mask first. Taking on a caregiver role often happens when life is already full. Many caregivers try to squeeze it into a busy life without letting anything else go. Try identifying what comfort or activity can help meet your needs. Self-care is about finding ways to meet your needs, and to feel better, cared for, and more grounded.
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Wendy Johnstone is a Gerontologist and a consultant with Family Caregivers of British Columbia in Victoria, BC.